Toast of London

Addictive Personality

Things are looking up for Steven. His agent Jane Plough gives him some exciting news: he's won a 'Best Actor' award from trendy Bra'z' Magazine. Toast is also getting more than a bit of attention from the ladies; celebrity journalist Susan Random and the beautiful, but slightly unhinged, Jemima Gina. Meanwhile Toast's flatmate Ed Howzer-Black has invited his old friend Kikini Bamalaam, the daughter of the Nigerian ambassador, to stay. Kikini is recovering from her latest botched cosmetic surgery and now closely resembles a very famous showbiz personality.

Afternoon Tea

Toast's excitement at winning a part in a new play is tempered by two facts. One, his nemesis Ray Purchase is also in it. Two, there's a rumour his director, Acker Herron, has a history of murdering difficult actors. Romantically, Toast has to choose between his old RADA contemporary, the fun-loving and beautiful Greta Cargo and a prostitute...

Vanity Project

Toast is caught in the middle of an acrimonious and expensive divorce so he needs to find a lot of cash, fast. Given two potential solutions; a starring role in a new feature film being made by a rich Arab billionaire or a laxative ad, he plumps for the former, despite the protestations of his agent, Jane Plough. But given the content of the movie, has Toast made the right decision?

Submission

Toast's new girlfriend, the aristocratic Portia de Coogan, thinks it's about time Toast met her father, Lord Fotheringham. To make the best impression, it's vital Toast works on his non-existent sense of humour. Professionally, some voiceover work for the Royal Navy leads to a terrifying visit to the launch of their latest submarine - The Penetrator.

The End

Toast is fed up with his current jobs. With the help of a new agent, Brooke Hooberman, he tries his hand at a new career; an author of erotic literature. He also finds himself a glamorous new lady friend, Kate Khan, who would be perfect if she didn't have her deaf, dumb and blind aunt constantly in tow.

Bonus Ball

After losing £20,000 to Andrew Lloyd Webber in a celebrity poker game, Toast finds himself being hunted by musical superstar and part-time theatre-land enforcer, Michael Ball. Needing cash quick, a desperate Toast agrees to dub some gay art house porn. When his nemesis, Ray Purchase, catches him in bed with his wife again, Toast is caught up in a life or death showdown with both Purchase and Ball on the stage of his appalling play... Meanwhile his agent, Jane Plough, thinks he may have won the role of James Bond, if he survives.

Match Fit

Toast is intrigued to find that Ed is entering a Celebrities and Prostitutes Blow Football Tournament. It's an annual event organized by Ed's showbiz charity, The River Rats. Ed suggests that Toast enter too. Toast accepts the invitation, and as he is 'fiercely competitive in everything', soon becomes obsessed with winning the tournament.

Desperate Measures

After Ray Purchase snitches on him to the 'Tax People', Toast receives a massive tax bill, and is forced to take on some unappealing jobs to pay off the debt.

The Moose Trap

A return to the West End stage in the legendary 'whodunnit' play The Moose Trap is seriously jeopardised when Toast reveals the killer's identity in a radio interview.

High Winds Actor

After the tragic death of his friend Axel Jacklin, Britain's finest exponent of acting in high winds, Toast finds himself in demand for dramatic roles.

Buried Alive

Toast is very excited to land a major role in a big movie, but when his co-star, Max Gland, has an accident on set, it has terrifying consequences for Toast's role.

Fool in Love

An old heartbreaker flame of Toast's, Lorna Wynde, turns up in London, but is she still in love with him, or is she trying to make her husband, Josh Homme, jealous?

Over the Moon

Live on chat show Lorraine Toast tells a tale that could not only topple the US Government but also destroy the entire world. Meanwhile, he's got an outdoor production of Macbeth to prepare for.

Beauty Calls

Toast's romance with a weather girl is thrown into jeopardy when he and Ed are asked to judge an international beauty contest.

Hamm on Toast

Toast experiences the charisma of Mad Men star Jon Hamm, and Toast and his brother Blair visit their dying father - guest Brian Blessed - in his castle to find out who will inherit the Toast fortune.

Bob a Job

With the promise of a potential role in Kevin Spacey's House of Cards, Toast takes part in a Royal Variety Performance hosted by Bob Monkhouse.

Man of Sex

Toast is cast in a West End play along with legendary actor and drinker Ormond Sacker, who has just come out of rehab.

Global Warming

When Toast begs Jane to get him in at the Globe Theatre, he's less than impressed with the director, Daz Klondyke, who's rumoured to be the hottest thing in UK theatre. However when he's cast in Klondyke's all-dog version of Twelfth Night, it's not long before Toast gets his fingers burnt as he tries to become a real actor.